One of the bravest things you’ll ever do is ask for help. Many of us, including myself, often grapple with fear and shame when it comes to asking for help. We tell ourselves that we don’t want to burden others, that they have their own struggles, or that we shouldn’t need help in the first place. We berate ourselves, labeling ourselves as irresponsible, foolish, and failures. But the truth couldn’t be farther from these self-hating thoughts.
One of the bravest things you’ll ever do is ask for help.
Arielle Davis
In reality, we all need help at some point in our lives, and behind every hero or success story that we love, there’s a network of people who lent a hand to that person’s journey. So, why should you be any different?
Life has a way of nudging us into situations that prompt us to grow and shed the unhelpful layers of our experiences, including fear and shame. Asking for help is one of the ways it accomplishes this.
You might find yourself grappling with workplace bullying, where speaking up to protect yourself becomes imperative. Alternatively, you might be excited about launching your own business but face financial hurdles. Or perhaps, you’re overwhelmed by responsibilities and require child care assistance to carve out time for your mental and physical well-being. Regardless of your specific challenge, it offers you an opportunity to make a courageous and wise choice, even in the face of fear and shame. The question is, will you summon the courage to do it? Let’s explore how.
Recognize Your Strength
Remember that asking for help doesn’t show weakness; it reveals your inner strength. It takes courage to ask for help, especially when fear and shame threaten to overwhelm you. In order to grow and move toward a life you’re proud of, you will be required to tap into the resilience within you that allows you to overcome these obstacles.
These uncomfortable challenges are your portal into your strength. Your strength doesn’t come from avoiding challenges but from facing them and reaching out when needed. Embracing this part of the process instead of resisting it is a valuable skill to develop on your path to personal growth. By reaching out for help, you’re also reaching in for your inner power. You empower yourself and discover your ability to handle life’s challenges.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Challenge those negative thoughts in your mind. Remember, you’re not a burden; you’re a human being, just like everyone else, facing life’s challenges.
Instead of being overly critical of yourself, try replacing self-criticism with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation. Recognize that making mistakes and seeking help are natural aspects of being human. By making this shift from self-criticism to self-compassion, you can cultivate a more supportive and nurturing inner dialogue.
This change in perspective not only boosts your self-esteem but also makes it easier to reach out for assistance when you genuinely need it. Remember, you are your own greatest ally on the path to personal growth and self-discovery, but it’s okay to enlist other allies too.
| Related: 7 Unconventional Personal Growth Tips
Recognize Others’ Willingness
It’s important to understand that people around you often want to help. Don’t assume they’re too busy or overwhelmed. Give them the chance to assist you. Many people find joy in helping others, and your request can be a chance for them to make a positive impact on your life.
Think about all the times you’ve helped others and how it made you feel connected. When you don’t ask for help, you might unintentionally deny others the opportunity to experience that same sense of connection and fulfillment.
By not asking for help, you’re making assumptions and judgments about others’ willingness and capacity to support you. Remember, seeking support can strengthen your bonds with friends, family, and colleagues. Don’t underestimate their kindness. By letting them help you, you not only lighten your load but also contribute to a sense of community and shared support that enriches their lives too.
Accept Imperfection
Accept the reality that none of us are perfect. Seriously, accept it. We all need help at different times in our lives, and it’s okay to ask for help. Imperfection is a fundamental part of being human, embrace it.
In a world that often celebrates flawless images and seemingly independent and bootstrap success stories, it’s crucial to remember that perfection is an illusion, and so is solo success. None of us are immune to the trials and tribulations of life. We all face challenges, make mistakes, and stumble along the way. This is not a sign of weakness but shows our shared humanity.
Accepting our own imperfections not only connects us through our struggles and vulnerabilities but also allows others to tap into their compassion and strengths— what a beautiful gift to give someone.
Accepting our own imperfections not only connects us through our struggles and vulnerabilities but also allows others to tap into their compassion and strengths— what a beautiful gift to give someone.
Arielle Davis
I want you to work to begin to see it this way: by allowing ourselves to be imperfect, we grant others the gift of helping and supporting us. When we reach out for help, we give them an opportunity to exercise their compassion and showcase their strengths. It’s not a one-sided transaction; it’s an exchange of energy and kindness.
When you ask for help, you create a space for others to shine. It’s a chance for them to step into a role of support and generosity, boosting their self-esteem and sense of purpose. This act of assistance is not a burden you put on them, but instead a gift you give to them. A gift that fosters a sense of fulfillment and connection.
Learn from Your Challenges
Every challenge that crosses your path is an opportunity in disguise. Instead of seeing difficulties as roadblocks, consider them stepping stones towards personal growth and self-understanding.
When you face adversity and summon the courage to ask for help despite the fear and shame that might try to hold you back, you embark on a profound journey of self-discovery. You uncover the depth of your inner strength and resilience, qualities that may have remained hidden had you not confronted these challenges.
It’s through these tough moments that you learn to rewrite the stories you tell yourself. You transform self-criticism into self-compassion. You begin to recognize that reaching out for assistance is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your courage.
Each time you overcome fear and shame to seek help, you’re not only addressing your immediate need but also nurturing a lifelong skill. You’re mastering the art of vulnerability, resilience, and connection. These are the lessons that shape your character and enable you to thrive in the face of challenging moments.
| Related: How To Build Self-Trust: Embrace Fear
Start Small
Asking for help can sometimes feel scary, especially if you’re not used to it. But there’s a way to make it easier—start small. Take baby steps.
Begin with easy tasks, like seeking advice or assistance on small matters. This approach helps build your confidence.
Think of asking for help as a skill you’re learning. Learning a new skill takes time, patience and humility. And you don’t start with a big and complicated challenge when learning something new. You begin with a small one. Make it simple.
For instance, you can ask a friend for advice on a small decision, like choosing whether to spend your evening working on a personal project or taking a break to relax. Or, at work, you can ask a colleague for a little assistance on a small task. Or maybe, at home, you can ask a family member to help you with a small errand.
These small steps are like practice runs. They let you get used to asking for help without feeling overwhelmed. You’ll see that people are often willing to assist without making you feel bad.
Starting small lets you build your confidence gradually. As you become more comfortable, you can tackle bigger challenges and ask for help in more significant areas of your life. It’s a way to become more self-assured and resilient in seeking support when you need it.
Seek Guidance
If you’re seeking personal support and want to learn the valuable skill of asking for help, consider VIP coaching with me. It’s not just about receiving guidance; it’s also about building essential life skills.
My coaching services (click here) focus on teaching individuals the skill of asking for help, among many others. Additionally, my comprehensive online course offers a structured curriculum that covers various skills, including asking for help, making tough decisions, improving communication, and so much more; all in a supportive community.
In this online course, you’ll join a compassionate community of individuals on a similar journey, all striving to build lives they’re proud of. This community becomes your safe space for practicing and refining these skills. Together, we’ll hold each other accountable and offer support as we make positive changes in our lives. It’s not just about acquiring knowledge; it’s about building a supportive network that empowers us to create lives that align with our true selves.
Are you ready to take the first step in transforming your life?
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