5 Steps to Finding Meaning and Purpose In Life

The keys to finding your purpose when it seems to be hiding

You’re at that moment again. You’ve logged on to Facebook or Instagram, and you see your former friends, classmates, and long-forgotten colleagues moving forward with their lives. You begin to feel anxious and heavy, and you wonder why everyone else seems to be thriving while you wait for your moment. You long for a clear path and purpose, but you can’t seem to find your place. At this moment, you might be wondering how to find meaning and purpose in life?

You’re not alone. I lived in that space for many years. 

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t handle social media. I compared myself to other people who seemed to have their lives figured out, while I felt lost and unfulfilled. I’ve always been a big dreamer. I’ve known for quite some time that I wanted to impact the world. I wanted to help people find their power, but hell, I was struggling to find my own. 

Now, I realize that I needed all of the false starts, retracting my previous proclamations about my new ventures and the humbling experience of admitting over and over that I was still trying to find my way. I needed to go through those experiences to have wisdom, insight, and compassion to share with others.

So if you’re struggling to fall in love with the adventure of finding your purpose because you feel lost, these next few steps are here to help you.

1. Get consistent with your questions. 

It would be best to ask yourself questions consistently, and they must be the right questions. It’s best to keep your answers limited to the question you’re asking. The first two questions I asked myself that pointed me towards the direction of my path were:

1. What do I love doing?
2. What did I love doing as a kid that got me in trouble? 

When I asked myself these two questions, the answer to what I love became clear. I loved to talk and communicate. And I clearly remember I was the girl who always got my seat moved in class for talking or passing notes. I was the sibling in the car who everyone wished would shut up. Of course, answering these two questions didn’t immediately reveal that I would become a keynote speaker and writer, but they did help me identify a direction to move in.

2. Play the hot & cold game.

Do you remember the hot and cold game? It’s the one where someone hides something that you have to find, and while you search, the person who has hidden the item lets you know if you are getting warmer or colder. And then, when you’re close, they tell you that you’re on fire, meaning you’re right on top of the item they hid. I find it’s the same when it comes to discovering our meaning and purpose in life. We have to play the hot and cold game, meaning we have to try new experiences to see how they feel. I believe in this so much that I played the hot and cold game as my New Year’s ritual in 2021 to find my purpose. And guess what? I found it that year.

If you want to find your purpose, you must be willing to try things even if you’re unsure how they will turn out. Even though I knew my purpose had something to do with communication, I still tried on many careers that didn’t end up being for me. I tried podcasting, life coaching, and I even had my mom invest all this money in helping me start a media company, only to come back later and tell her I didn’t want to do it. It was tough. Every time I thought I had found my path, I would later figure out that I still hadn’t quite gotten there yet. I had to tell the people I love that once again; I was starting over. Here’s a finding meaning and purpose in life quote for you to step up your game.

If you want to find your purpose, you must be willing to try things even if you’re unsure how they will turn out.

Arielle Davis

Now I know that all of those experiences, skills that seemed useless, and social connections that seemed random led me right where I am supposed to be.

3. Be patient. 

I struggle with patience. I say that hurrying the F up should be a virtue instead of patience. So I know firsthand finding your meaning and purpose in life can be a frustrating process. You may end up sitting around and contemplating your life to the point of depression. I am speaking from personal experience. I’ve done it.

So I have disappointing news, there is no way to rush the discovery process. It takes time and experience. I remember feeling like I was running out of time to find my path. I thought everyone else was ahead of me, and each day I failed to find my true life’s work, I believed I was falling further and further behind. But the truth is, you don’t need to find your path. You’re already on it.

Right now, at this moment reading this blog. A series of decisions, setbacks, and frustrations have led you to this moment of clarity. You are in your path, so you don’t need to stress yourself out. You need to stick with the process outlined here, and I promise you will find your purpose.

4. Be self-compassionate.

One of the best ways to finding the meaning and purpose of life is to be self-compassionate. You must be kind, compassionate, and generous with yourself. By doing so, you make it easier on yourself. There will be days when you feel like a failure or rejected, and the only way to get through these days is to MAKE THE CHOICE to treat yourself with tenderness despite your mind or people around you lying and saying you don’t deserve compassion.

The truth is all of the people you look up to have to fight their internal doubts and demons. It’s just what comes with being in the winner’s circle. Winners fail, hurt, and doubt themselves, but they also make choices to speak kindly to themselves when they need encouragement, to get back up after being knocked down, and to love themselves whether or not they feel worthy that day or moment. I can think of so many moments when I thought I didn’t have what it took t to achieve my dreams, and despite feeling lost, and like a failure, I kept encouraging myself, and I kept going despite my feelings.

Winners fail, hurt, and doubt themselves, but they also make choices to speak kindly to themselves when they need encouragement, to get back up after being knocked down, and to love themselves whether or not they feel worthy that day or moment.

Arielle Davis

5. Surround yourself with encouraging people.

I would be a damn lie if I said that self-compassion was enough. It wasn’t. I needed encouraging words from people I loved and trusted, and they showed up. My mom, girlfriend, and closest friends all reminded me of the fantastic and capable woman I am on days I couldn’t see it in myself. Their love, compassion, and kindness carried me when I couldn’t fight the mean voices in my head alone. It is so important to have people who love and believe in you. 

You’re a human being, and you will lose stamina and strength on this journey. We aren’t meant to survive or thrive alone, so find people who help you see your best self more clearly.

I promise if you practice these things, you will look up one day and say, I can’t believe it. I did it. Because I manifested my purpose, now I am living the life of my dreams.